PictureMy boyfriend Neal & I.
While I was growing up I was not blessed with the opportunity to watch a happy mom and dad live together and love each other. My mom left when I was 2 years old. I was raised by a single dad who was battling a drug addiction, and an addiction to women. I was left to raise myself most of the time (except for when we lived with my grandparents) while my dad worked 3rd shift, and hopped from woman to woman. While I know my dad tried so hard, and loves and loved me so much, I really never learned anything about how a healthy relationship worked.

When Neal and I started dating in 2012 I can say I was not the best version of myself I could possibly be. Sadly, I let so much of what had happened in my life and past relationships creep into our life together.
As I sit back now and reflect I am so thankful God has given me such a patient and understanding man to share my life with. So many times I let jealousy, anger, resentment, and all kinds of other emotions into our relationship and if I were any guy I would have RAN for the hills! However, Neal would simply sit and say "I love you, but you are acting crazy." More times then I can remember I would then proceed to flip out "How am I crazy?!?!?! YOU are the one sitting there texting someone, you MUST be cheating.. I mean who is this Danielle girl who you are always talking to hmm???" It was not a pretty picture. (Later I came to find out that Danielle was his sister, haha, even better she and I are now great friends and I adore her!) I had many other qualities that were not great that I care not to bore or scare you with!

In November 2012 I gave my heart, soul and life over to God. I wanted to live a different more fulfilled life
. In doing so I learned a lot about love, relationships and a woman's purpose. One of the MAJOR things I learned is I am a precious, beautiful, treasured gift of the King of all Kings and I needed to start treating myself like it. Another huge thing I learned was I needed to start treating my relationship with Neal SO MUCH DIFFERENT. His job was to provide and protect me and my job was to joyfully serve him and be his helper. Many people might think "Ugh, not another 1940's housewife, seriously!" And honestly, that is okay by me because I used to think similarly!. However, the life I live now is not for everyone. When I tell people how I get up every morning at 5:45am and faithfully make Neal his coffee and lunch (yes, even if I am sick!) and then send him out the door saying the same words I "Drive safe and text me when you get there, I love you!" They honestly look at me like I have 10 heads. Haha! However, after giving my life to the Lord, Neal and I sat down and had a serious talk about our life and our relationship. We clearly defined the rolls that we both wanted and promised once we took those rolls that we would fulfill them with 100% effort all the time. Not only that but if we saw each other not fulfilling those rolls, we would talk about it and make the other person aware of what they needed to do and HELP them do it.

Our relationship now is stronger, more God centered, loving and happy then I ever could have imagined it would ever be. My man is truly my best friend in the world. I would do any thing for him or his beautiful daughter (who I call my Stinky Pete :) haha) He is more giving, more kind, more supportive, more genuine, more honest, more loving and more faithful then any man I have ever dated before and I truly can not wait until the day when I get to proudly wear a ring on my finger and call myself his wife!

I hope my story can help you to know you are not alone and that there are others out there who are living lives that are not the cookie cutter perfect Christian lives. And others who have come from the worst possible back grounds you could imagine. But every day they are trying to put Jesus first, to love others, and to survive living in this crazy world.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

- Amanda

 


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    I'm Amanda! I'm a twenty-something Christian girl. I am imperfect, flawed and a sinner and am only forgiven by my Savior Jesus Christ. I am passionate about writing. I have a loving boyfriend named Neal, a Pit-bull named Hennessy and a cat named Kitty. This blog is for girls like my just trying to get through every day.

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